I actually really feel envy to those people who manage to become a good friend with their ex. Because obviously, that thing did not work well with me. I don't know if this is because I still can't move on yet, or exes are just never meant to be friend with each other (I really don't know how those people do it though). I'm just not ready to hear about some other new girl to enter your life. You shouldn't have told me that.
I know I told you many times that I have moved on.. But... Yeah, I lied. Well, technically, I don't, because I'm pretty sure that I'm over it too (like you did) and that we can be cool, be a friend. Untill you told me that today.
The moment you told me you met that girl, which is not special (yet) to you and you kissed her and, well, almost slept with her (though you are eventually snapped and back to the real life), it hit me harder than when I got hit by motorcycle yesterday. This bruises on my stomach and this wounds on my knees is nothing compare to it. I'd rather got hit by that motorcycle again for a hundred times than hearing you told me about that meet up and that. Once again, it's my fault, I've told you I've moved on.
I've went on so many dates, so why can't you? Well... It's because the reason we broke up. You don't broke up with one bitch just to hook up with another bitch right? Well, actually you can, if you're a douche enough, which i believe you are not. I am not angry that you met her and almost sleep with her, who am I to be angry? I'm just scared.. That you and her end up like us, falling in love, because that's how the first time we met went, and that's how i believe we fell in love. I'm jealous. I am.
Today, I regret the day I agree that we can stay friend after we break up. Because obviously, it's not a smart move. And it does not ease the pain at all. It makes it worse!!! Much worse!!!
Thus, from now, I've decided to move on. To continue living my life without you. Without you AT ALL! I've deleted your number and block your facebook and eliminate everything that will make me "crave of you". I hope there's no way we can contact each other ever again, eventhough maybe one of us is dying and want to apologize or something, well let's just tell our God about it.
Dear My former future husband, this love right here is like a fire you'll try to set off. But the spark is still there. Just need some trigger and it can go big again. Therefore, If we ever crossed path again, if we ever meet again, please do not greet me. Do not call my name. Because eventhough we were part of each others life, we've been on each other's book of life, you are part of my past. And you are the part of the past that I wish To forgot.
Last but not least, if u ever read this, know that your name is still in my every prayer (at least untill today, I can't keep praying for you if I want to try to forgot you, right. But well.. God knows). I always hope you the best and hope you live well and always be happy. Hope tou habe a wonderful future ahead without me (I'm pretty certain you will - that's why you dumped me though). And be happy with your #1.
Regards,
The girl who once and 'till right now always love you, and might (not) love you forever.
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